finish line

What was I thinking I had something worth an abstract? At least that motivated me to make more product than average. But that session is done now. My slightly sunk feeling. The boss has been right about something for a while. A few things. I was expecting some psychological warfare from the big man. Normally called how can you behave like this, be so off base, produce so little, integrate so poorly with your colleagues. Lab meeting he was away, so I got two more days to do experiments. My only meet with him before, when he said I couldnt possibly work with an undergrad, he stressed that I have to stop doing everything at the last minute. True, a bad quality, but one I am making progress on. Maybe. Its a matter of product and how I am only getting slowly better at getting it. In neverland we always trying to bust our ass, and then when there is an abstract or a paper or something, then we push harder. Then when we have to submit data we said we already had we really bust ass, or forget how to speak english and lose our notebooks. Drylab.

Anyway he was right that I was ignoring a serious hypothesis killer. My Hypotheses have not been clearly enough defined. or there are many of them. The guy in Pi would say, restate my assumptions. Before I had a more large scale operation, and today it was reduced to the fact that my IP's dont work and that they are not the best kind of data to be trying to get my hands on. Back to the luciferase I was only doing under the table because he said it was so not promising before. I have not done the normal optimization of the assay because Im always trying to get more complex data. Its a mess though. you have to see how much reagent is to be added. Always. Time and amount. Bio 101. My fault.

30% transfection efficiency is too much of a bitch. Yes, breeding is slow but if it is just in a separate folder then it can be handled. I wanted the boss to tell me to do that titration. I wanted him to commit to it, since he is so Obamathon that he wont actually use complete sentences and be quotable. He finally did that. He is doing a good job of talking about chapters that I should be thinking about. In the thesis. Close the book on that shit is the idea. So one paper is a negative. Thats ok. Two papers to graduate, one good one less. So I still dont want to drop my gene but thats because I havent done enough screening to pick a new favorite. I am just getting into this, and I see the patchwork manner in which people analyse the data. There is a new way, which is streamlined and from out of state. Maybe on vacation I can learn it. Then I can come back and see how angry that neverland gets that Im using the competitors process.

On vacation I hope to get the Ninja's cloning manual assembled. Cut long time?, Cut 5ug. Elute the fragments together and ligate in 40ul, then add it all. All bitch. Always seek out the newest technique, the way the new lab doesnt that stuff.
The boss was also right about something like talking to my coworkers. I need to think more about this. Its an age old battle. Im under the gun, the senior student in the lab. I behave like the foreign post docs. I want you youngers and techs to shut the fuck up already. I want people who can talk about their project and believe in what they do. Do not be another yes man for this likely Nobelaureate to be. Have to wow him with that analysis. Going on vacation is a must, I had external reasons for waiting this long and I had lab meeting anyway, but for the love of all things real, I hope that I am able to take a more reasonable break next time I start getting stressed. Its the same old story, stressed for lack of output, you keep working. But the constitution drops and then efficiency drops and pretty soon you are running just to stay in one place. Staying on one place is not whats gonna get me a lab one day.